Sunday, 28 June 2009

dizzy, time for sleep and hickstead

didn't get back to finish writing yesterday. Tried to make myself feel better by getting some fresh air and taking the puppy out for a while which unfortunately did not work. So feeling very ill I went off to bed. The puppy decided that he was going to wake me around 530 disrupting my sleep which i really could have done without. Anyway off i went to work this morning my friend picked me up as due to my car not wanting to play ball and my dash board isn't working which means no speedometer, no rev counter, no petrol gauge and no temp gauge!!! not good still at least my sisters other half is a mechanic so he's going to have a look at it later or tomorrow.

made it till around 10 today then ended up going back home as really wasnt a good plan for me to be working today. I had to rearrange my lessons for the day for other people to teach them and then mum was going to pick me up but couldnt due to work at the pub so a very kind client took me and dash home where I have been ever since. Have spent most of the afternoon in bed asleep tried to watch the hickstead derby but kept dozing. However what a round and win for William Funnel absolutely foot perfect. there were some rounds today that looked very untidy and haphazard which in my view I would not expect to see at such a level. Now I know that everybody makes mistakes not doubt about it but. however the ending was a very fitting memory to Douglas Bunn who sadly died 12 days ago who set up the Hickstead complex etc and has done a huge amount for british SJ providing us with one of the best venues in the world. Now I know how huge and daunting that ring is after competing there with the scurry ponies in years gone by. It is much bigger than what it appears on the telly and the bank is massive and a dream of riding down it one day got bigger each time we went in that ring. Unfortunately for some people today the atmosphere just seemed to much and the fences a little too big for their horses and for some luck just wasnt with them today. William Whitiker put in a super round and british SJ has a lot to look forward to there and in other young riders which we seem to be producing now. It wasnt a great day at the office for Ben Maher but I am a big fan of his and the way he rides and how he can ride such different horses and get a super tune out of them in a very calm balanced manner with such a massive amount of feel. On a slightly less positive note Micheal Whitiker has been found guilty of one of his horses failing a dope test but it appears that it is due to a mix up by his groom giving a gelding a feedbowl that had previously been used for regumate which is legal when given to mares but not to geldings/stallions so fingers crossed that at his hearing this will be taken into considerationas we really could do with not losing him for a minimum of 2 years.

So after sleeping all afernoon am I feeling better I would love to say yes but I cannot back of to sleep I think hopefully I can sleep whatever this is off and would rather not keep falling over. On a positive note Murphy seemed sound today yes he's on bute but we are decreasing it and he was lame on thursday and friday with the bute so fingers crossed he is on the way back would be really nice to get back on him as riding other people's as nice as they are is just not quite the same when you have a super horse of your own stood in a stable.

Right off to sleep

Saturday, 27 June 2009

dizzy dizzy dizzy!!!

Strange sort of day. I was very tired this morning after an exam day at the yard yesterday meaning a 630am start finishing at 615. Then a shift in the pub from 7-1130 so a very tired me this morning but felt really well. Started at the yard at 730 usual stuff. Anyway started teaching at 10 and around 1030 i dropped felt awful extremely dizzy faint vision not great bit wierd to tell the truth. finished the lesson then had a break followed by more teaching. Would have gone home but due to being short staffed and I was booked out most of the day so a longer lunch and a quick sleep had to do. Balance has all but left me and dizziness is bit worse but we shall see a little worrying but I'm putting it down to being over tired and very stressed. So going to try to sleep a little now and finished writing this when I hopefully feel a little better and can see the screen properly.

Thursday, 25 June 2009

mixed things..

so the vet came out last friday and we are thinking it is either a pulled or torn ligament or muscle in his shoulder.....yuk!!! so he had a weeks box rest and bute twice a day finishing on wednesday so that when the vet came back out today it would be out of his system. I was away with the scurry ponies so he probably would have had the week off anyway. The vet came back out today and my poor little Murphy is still lame :( The vet said about doing nerve blocks etc but if we are thinking along the lines of muscles I suggested another week of box rest and bute then re look at him next week when he is down the yard which he seemed wuite happy with. If he is no better at all then we will investigate further. he improves as he's trotted up etc so has us all a little confused so if anyone has any ideas feedback would be very much appreciated.

Little dash man went of to a friends whilst I was away as only had his second jab on the thursday so wasn't allowed out for another week. She brought him back to me today as he seemed very glad to see me and came rushing over which is very nice indeed. He has had a fantastic time playing with her spaniel of which she took some pics which will be posted up soon. He went for a long walk tonight and is now flat out on his bed fast asleep bless him.

So the shows were a huge amount of fun with lots of random things happenning. We did ok a few placings and a couple of champioships so not our best shows but still pleasing. I think the most pleasing thing for me is that my favourite little pony that hasn't been out competing this year due to some soundness issues( he is 24!!!!) and has had mainitis in thepast who we thought was going to have to be put down after the summer is sound and driving at home really well and is completly full of it prancing around the school and down the road like he is 2!!! This is a huge boost as without question he is our best pony and part of our most successful pair so fingers crossed it looks like he will be going to Great Yorkshire in a few weeks!

Have an awful lot on my mind still and frustratingly enough my emotions are a bit like a yo-yo up and down. Not teh best feeling in the world but have to get on with it. After being ill last year it is coming up to the time that I will have to go back and be checked out and reassesed so am getting a little nervous and stressed so 3 weeks tomorrow I will know. Scary scary scary!

right off to sleep now stress really isn't worth the effort so I try to hide it behind a protective barrier which in some ways protects me but in others doese me no good what so ever ad tiredness does not help so sleep is much needed.


Thursday, 18 June 2009

no vet and a strange sort of day

No vet!!!!!

The vet was due out today to the yard but due to his illness he did not come! How annoying?? Although we are all ill sometimes just a little annoying from my point of view. There was of course the option of having another vet from the practice but as the yard is going to wait untill tomorrow it would mean me paying the whole call out fee of £55 on top of whatever the vet did so I decided that 24hrs wasn't going to make a whole lot of difference so have decided to wait untill tomorrow when I will have my own vet plus not pay for a call out. Much better option in my opinion as much as it would have been nice to find out today. So he has his leg like iced again and noth front legs bandaged plus his magnetic stable boots on behind what a sight he is!! After the like ice etc last night he seemed slightly less swollen and a little less heat however within an hour it was back to how it was and he is still very lame so doesn't look like we'll be going to little mattingly! Still no serious descision till after the vet tomorrow.

Had a lesson on the ex show cob this morning. He was a little frustrating if I'm honest and didn't really work overly well. No matter what I tried this morning he just wasn't going to come completly over his back. Now there could be many contributing factors to this. He was ridden by someone last night who never really does him any favours, he was a little stiff and I'm still sufferring after my little escapade XC yesterday. Hoping I feel better tomorrow as not really quite sure how I got through a whole day plus teaching late. di have a couple of hours off between 5 and 7 this evening as this is yard policy plus I had to take little dash to the vets for his second jab so now he thinks he's a big boy although is a little quiet tonight bless him! However the little horse did improve and apparently was good in the lessons this afternoon which makes me feel a little better.

This afternoon I schooled my little project another little coloured cob but this one came from a trecking centre a couple of years ago and is owned by a lovely teenager who does her best but my challenge is to take this little ordinary cob and see what I can do with him. So at the moment all I'm trying to do is help him a little with his suppleness as he is very very stiff and therefore likes to run when he finds things difficult. He is a joy to work with and has a super attitude to life he always gives it a go and never really says no just hey I'm finding this difficult. He is coming on quite nicely and today we really succeded with bend on both reins and some very nice long and low work. He really is a horse that benifits from being ridden through the seat but with quite a strong contact as this seems to make him feel more secure. You have to be a little careful how you communicate with him as he can get worried very easily so everything is slowly but surely.

So a bit of a mix match day as then had this private lesson with a young girl who really doesn't want to learn to ride and is only doing so due to pressure from the parents. A s an instructor this is probably the most difficult type of lesson to teach but we did have some fun and she seemed to enjoy it towards the end.

Right so fingers crossed for the vet tomorrow. Whatever it is it's better to know and deal with it then to ignore the situation and just hope it goes away.


Wednesday, 17 June 2009


So Murphy was going really well and just knew that it had to be too good to be true. He came in lame o my lesson on Tuesday but then after a bit of walk was sound. He was turned out before I could ask them not to and with no boots again. Anyway yesterday evening he was most definately lame again so asked the farrier to come out today to see him. Again this morning most definately lame so he stayed in all day and seemed quite happy which is a probably a good thing as my gut feeling is he could be spending a bit of time in his stable. His fetlock joint is fairly swollen but again not much heat at all which seems a bit weird along with his being sound then lame then sound then lame thing. The farrier came out this afternoon and he trotted up probably around 2-3/10 lame so fairly lame in my books unfortunately. Now as bad as this sounds I was kind of hoping for pus in the foot as at least that is usually just a few days nd very easy to treat. however the farrier could not fins anything at all and there was certainly no reaction to the hoof testers etc :( So tomorrow the vet is comming out and I am just keeping my fingers crossed that it is nothing serious but my gut feeling is there is something going on with the annular ligament hmm lets hope that I'm wrong!! Silly pony being silly in the field. Complete shame as entries for little Mattingly open soon and would really love to go there this year with him so would be really nice if it was something really simple and quick to fix. Still worrying about it isn't going to help really so we shall just have to wait and see what the vet says in the morning. Taught late tonight as my boss had taken a few days off so I said I would cover her which on review amy have been a bit silly as I worked at the pub last night, I'm teaching late tomorrow and then working in the pub friday then off to a show on saturday for a few days!!! Phew am going to be in most definate need of a lie in soon.

Time for bed I think not sure the puppy agrees though!


Monday, 15 June 2009

super super day off but still pondering

Super day off had a great day. The puppy woke up early to go to the toilet then he went back to sleep super as havent been able to catch up on any sleep since I picked him up. What a dear little thing he then slept all the way through till 930 whata gem!! Then I went off to be a model for my sister who is training to become a hairdresser so free hair cut for me and I am so pleased with it looks lovely. We went out for dinner last night so my hair looked nice anyway but now it looks much much better.

So feeling better for the extra sleep I went off for lunch with a friend who is training for her stage 4 care so we combined the 2 and I also helped her with that. found my notes and didn't realise quite how many notes I had actually done and am really pleased by the amount I remember etc. Role on the next set of exams!

Then I went to the yard where I used to keep the boys to catch up with a few people I hadn't seen for a while. It's always nice to catch up with people but sometimes a few of those people remind you of things that you are trying to keep at bay. Forget no never but try not to think of them in a depressing way each day sometimes it's just nice to try to focus on the here and now and the future and not be looking back to the past after all none of us can change what has happened sometimes yes it really wouldbe nice but then these things shape the way we are for the better or for the worse.

Off then for more catching up with people and went to watch the hockey as my old team were playing so really was nice to see them and have a bit of a chat before and after the game when we could and off course they all loved little dash!

So it really has been a day of catching up and doing what I wanted to do. Decided not to go ride Murphy as felt he really could just do with a day chilling in the field-hope he was a good boy didn't get a phonecall which is usually a good sign with him so we shall see in the morning. Am meant tobe having a lesson on him tomorrow so will just have to play it by ear see how he is.

Sometimes the more we think the more confused we become a little withdrawn but yet without really knowing what is wrong. Sometimes life likes to throw things at you that you would really not want to deal with but you deal with them because you have to and although you do memories don't fade and nor should they after all good memories help to keep people alive in you heart and within you. Memories are what help us to live, help us to get by, help us to go on. Now i'm sure we have all lost someone who is very close to us or we will enevitably at some point but it doesn't make things any easier. It's a very hard thing to get over especially when that person has always been there for you always had your back someone that you have loved unconditionally and who has loved you back the same. It's been near on 8 months or it will be tomorrow and it makes you think it really does what if would I really have spent the rest of my life with this person could I really see myself growing old with him-the answer is yes but it will never happen now but I know he is looking after me and is around me all the time day and night. I am in a new relationship now but we are taking things really slow. I find it difficult some days and sometimes I feel a little guilty which I know is wrong and after all ben would want me to be happy and we both knew mike andhe would know that he would look afer me etc which he is doing but sometimes its difficult really difficult for us both but we understand where each other are coming from we both have days where we expect him to come bounding in through the door but yet we both know it will never happen.

Anyway enough for tonight i'm off for lots of much needed cuddle from both the puppy and mike.


Sunday, 14 June 2009


meet dash! This is my dear sweet little Jack Russell puppy and some of the reason why I am so so tired at the moment! Bless him he really is sweet but I just wish his little bladder would go a little longer through the night. He's very good i.e. he yaps when he needs the loo so is pretty much house trained inless I don't wake up in time-oops!!! This does however mean my sleep is interrupted and although I go back to sleep it's just not quite the same. Mike adores him which always helps.
Had a bit of a wierd week. Murphy had physio which meant wednesday off work and an easy day thursday. We then had a PTT exam at the yard on friday which meant an early start and of course no school which to ride in so out hacking we went again. He went out in the field in the afternoon and apparently lost the plot rolled then got up and galloped round the field with his hind legs way above his head-hmmm silly pony. The result a lame horse in the evening and a slight swelling on his fetlock joint not so great. He was slightly better saturday but had the day off and was sound by the evening making me think about maybe it was just a bang fingers crossed. Today he was sound (big sigh of relief-phew!!!) so I took him out for a quiet hack with one of our clients who was going on her first hack so a nice quiet walk and a couple of small trots. This was perfect although I'm not sure Murphy's high spirits did her nerves much good but her horse was foot perfect so that's something. He is sound tonight so fingers crossed he will still be fine tomorrow.
There is no words for how I am feeling tonight. Tired is most definately one of them and I'm sure that's not helping. Ever get those days where you feel bit down so you start to reflect which makes you feel a little worse? It's like a never ending spiral that at some point you just have to pull yourself out of which is easier said than done but it does have to be done or else life would be a little depressing don't you think??!!! Anyways going to pull myself out of this little black hole ready to start a new day tomorrow. The puppy however is great at making you feel better whata little superstar he is.

Wednesday, 10 June 2009

internet finally

Haven't written for a while as have no internet connection oh and the slight issue of a very cute new addition to the family a very cute jack russell!!! Dash is his name 9 weeks old and the most adorable bundle of fun ever. Pictures will follow when i finally manage to find my camera dont want to miss the growing up of the little one.

Murphy has had good and bad days in the last week. Flat work really has come on in leaps and bounds. We went to where I used to keep him when I was freelance as they were running a clinc with Adam Mills. We worked on lateral flexibility his flexion longitudinally is super and is workng really well that way however his left and right flexion (right worse) isn't as good so that really was then focus of the lesson. We worked a lot on flexion both true and counter flexion which really seemed to help. He began to really come through from behind and spent more time on his hindlegs resulting in a super super trot with real suspension and elevation. His leg yield and shoulder-in became so much better and even the canter really began to improve. The lesson was very beneficial and will most definatley be going back for another one. I learnt a huge amount which not only have I been abe to use on Murphy but also on the other horses which I ride and has really helped me in the way I think when I ride now. Obviously it doesn;t work for every horse in every situation but in many cases it really has helped. His jumping is a bit hit and miss at the moment one day he is excellent and another he's good but not so great if that makes sense. Partly it might be me I'm a little up and down at the moment which obviously, no matter how hard you try, does transfer to the horse a little which effects the way they work.

He had the physio yesterday so had today off so I jumped a couple of the horses at the riding school which actually I rather enjoyed as it was something different. It was also nice to see how I can now jump them having not jumped them for ages. One was the little ex show cob and the other was a horse I haven't jumped since my stage 3 who is not the easiest. However they both jumped really nicely and did a little bit of height on the second horse. It's all good practice for my next exam as obviously won't get Murphy so it's very helpful to continue to ride other horses. Am jumping again tomorrow , not on Murphy as he has to have a day off today and an easy day tomorrow so am jumping one of the novice horses at Rycroft. This will be quite nice as I have just started to school him to help the horse a little. He's nothing special but I do believe that he could go quite sweetly which will be beneficial to him as hopefully will keep him a little more supple and also make him easier to teach with.

The physio was really pleased with Murphy and saus he is a lot better than last time she saw him in muscle development and in his flexibility. He did however have a few tight spots but that is to be expected really and will see the physio again end of July. I am a great believer in keeping horse supple and to have him checked every 6 weeks etc as I belive prevention is better than cure and of course the horse can only go well and do what is asked of him and enjoy his work if he feels wel in himself.

Off to Wellington Riding tonight to watch the gala evening dressage with a few friends with should be good so am really looking forward to it. Dash puppy has gone to a friends of mine for the afternoon/evening so will be having lots of fun.


Monday, 1 June 2009

very tiring weekend and a new puppy

So a very busy weekend at the yard but that is always a good sign. It appears that the recession has not affected the riding school at all which is super news. Whether it is due to the fact that it doesnt seem to have overly effected this area or because people are determined not to sacrifice their leisure time and what they enjoy.

So the weekend was very busy mainly due to lots of lessons and a couple of people being off. I spent alot of my time teaching but in the most part it was very enjoyable and made a couple of major break throughs with some clients. I love it when that happens sometimes you can be working on something for a few lessons and then all of a sudden it just clicks and all makes sense to the rider and the effect it has on the horse is super and they then know what they aretrying to achieve which then makes repeating it easier. One particular lady who I used to teach when i was there originally and we were really working on her seat and the effect that she can have on the horse by using it in different ways and by the end the horse was responding so much better and in a more correct manner. She then felt this and really got it by the end of the lesson and when she rode again in the afternoon was able to repeat it fairly successfully.

Sunday I spent a lot of time teaching but were mainly good fun lesson. I took the advanced teenage group XC and they all really seemed to enjoy it. We talked about the different ways of riding the different fences and the jumped them individually then finished off with the course and I am glad to say they all stayed on despite a few hairy moments. I also took one of them for a private earlier in the day on one of the yard 'cobs'!!!! I have to say by the end the little horse was working well through his back and correctly and was going as nice as he can at the moment looking at muscle development, fitness etc so that was also pleasing. So it really was a good weekend of teaching and the sunshine really does help. It seems to make everybody a bit more easy going and feeling good in themselves which then transfers to their riding.

I picked up my new puppy on sat evening a little jack russell from my friend. He is 7 weeks old and seems to have settled in really well and apart from a little bit of crying he has been really super. he is currently fast asleep after a very busy weekend also. Everyone likes him and thinks he is completely adorable which means lots of cuddles and lots of playing which makes for one very tired little puppy which is excellent news for me as it means he sleeps really well at night.

Right off to have a shower then off to work in the pub. have my lst lesson with my friend tomorrow before she goes back to germany so looking forward to that. then on wednesday we have a lesson with adam mills so should be a good week.