Super day off had a great day. The puppy woke up early to go to the toilet then he went back to sleep super as havent been able to catch up on any sleep since I picked him up. What a dear little thing he then slept all the way through till 930 whata gem!! Then I went off to be a model for my sister who is training to become a hairdresser so free hair cut for me and I am so pleased with it looks lovely. We went out for dinner last night so my hair looked nice anyway but now it looks much much better.
So feeling better for the extra sleep I went off for lunch with a friend who is training for her stage 4 care so we combined the 2 and I also helped her with that. found my notes and didn't realise quite how many notes I had actually done and am really pleased by the amount I remember etc. Role on the next set of exams!
Then I went to the yard where I used to keep the boys to catch up with a few people I hadn't seen for a while. It's always nice to catch up with people but sometimes a few of those people remind you of things that you are trying to keep at bay. Forget no never but try not to think of them in a depressing way each day sometimes it's just nice to try to focus on the here and now and the future and not be looking back to the past after all none of us can change what has happened sometimes yes it really wouldbe nice but then these things shape the way we are for the better or for the worse.
Off then for more catching up with people and went to watch the hockey as my old team were playing so really was nice to see them and have a bit of a chat before and after the game when we could and off course they all loved little dash!
So it really has been a day of catching up and doing what I wanted to do. Decided not to go ride Murphy as felt he really could just do with a day chilling in the field-hope he was a good boy didn't get a phonecall which is usually a good sign with him so we shall see in the morning. Am meant tobe having a lesson on him tomorrow so will just have to play it by ear see how he is.
Sometimes the more we think the more confused we become a little withdrawn but yet without really knowing what is wrong. Sometimes life likes to throw things at you that you would really not want to deal with but you deal with them because you have to and although you do memories don't fade and nor should they after all good memories help to keep people alive in you heart and within you. Memories are what help us to live, help us to get by, help us to go on. Now i'm sure we have all lost someone who is very close to us or we will enevitably at some point but it doesn't make things any easier. It's a very hard thing to get over especially when that person has always been there for you always had your back someone that you have loved unconditionally and who has loved you back the same. It's been near on 8 months or it will be tomorrow and it makes you think it really does what if would I really have spent the rest of my life with this person could I really see myself growing old with him-the answer is yes but it will never happen now but I know he is looking after me and is around me all the time day and night. I am in a new relationship now but we are taking things really slow. I find it difficult some days and sometimes I feel a little guilty which I know is wrong and after all ben would want me to be happy and we both knew mike andhe would know that he would look afer me etc which he is doing but sometimes its difficult really difficult for us both but we understand where each other are coming from we both have days where we expect him to come bounding in through the door but yet we both know it will never happen.
Anyway enough for tonight i'm off for lots of much needed cuddle from both the puppy and mike.
x
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